It took me so long to get confident in myself because I didn't always have someone there for me. Even if I did I didn't really feel like they were there because they never saw that I was in pain from just being me.
I wanted the people around me to see that I was in pain and it didn't stand out to them that I was hurting and they didn't see it until i started hurting myself which I don't regret because everyone has a back story and honestly I'm proud of mine. It could've gone another way but it didn't and the way I took it was by starting to cut myself. I can say I've had my ups and downs with this self harm issue but I'm currently on month 3 of not hurting myself because if I do then I'm never going to get better and that's not what I want.
I want a life where I can be happy and live life to the fullest and make a life where I see beauty in things but also see the dark in other things. I want to help people when they are hurting like I was because no one should go through that pain because its horrible and not worth hurting yourself over it because what happens if you decide to hurt yourself bad enough that there's no return? There's no reason to kill yourself because there is a light in your darkness and you just have to find the right people that will help you find that light.
The darkness can only last so long and if you think its going to last for ever just know I'm here for you and I always will be. Why? Because you need one person who will always believe in you and will have your back and will let you cry on their shoulder or let you call them at 3 am and pick up the phone because if you're calling that late they will know that your sad and you need someone to reassure you that they will always be there and they will help you. Even if you don't want to find someone help you find the light in your life you can find it and make it brighter or a little less dark. There is that light you just have to find it and make it yours, no one can take that light away, sure they can dim it but they can't take it away or put it out.
No comments:
Post a Comment